Introduction: All The World’s a Stage

“Qué será, será — Whatever will be, will be — The future’s not ours to see...”

Alfred Hitchcock cameo (back facing the camera left) in “The Man Who Knew Too Much”

In the psychological thriller “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” viewers are quick to spot Alfred Hitchcock’s iconic bald head in one of his well-known cameos. Standing alongside Jimmy Stewart and Doris Day, Hitchcock’s presence adds intrigue to the film’s unfolding narrative. As the story progresses towards a treacherous climax, centered around the kidnapping of the couple’s young boy, Hitchcock’s presence serves as a signal, urging the audience to pay closer attention to what appears to be a scene of ordinary merriment.

In a later scene, Doris Day delivers a heartfelt rendition of “Qué será, será” as a signal to their kidnapped son that she is near so that he could alert them to his presence. The scene is less ironic than viewers might guess.

Hitchcock’s fascination with abandonment began long before his Hollywood career. At the tender age of five his father, a stern disciplinarian, ordered Alfred to appear at the local police station with a note saying that he had been misbehaving. The sergeant on duty (at the request of Hitchcock’s father) locked him up for a sufficient length of time to give Alfred a fear of enclosed spaces which would play a role in his later work. In the ying yang household of his youth, when he was not being disciplined, Hitchcock was cosseted by an overly protective mother, who used food as a balm — to which he would later ascribe his trademark paunch.

Through masterful storytelling, Hitchcock enigmatically reminds us that our future — in other words, what will be — is inextricably bound to the places in our past that come equipped with numerous trap doors and illusory prison cells. He proved that who we are is closely linked to where we were.

The song’s three verses explore the life of a child who asks her mother about childhood, falling in love, and becoming a parent. In each verse, the question “What will I be?” is posed, while the mother insistently reminds her, “What will be, will be.” Hitchcock’s use of the famous song was more than to feature a pleasing musical score, however.

The first clue, for those who are not fluent in Spanish, Italian, or French, is that the phrase “Qué será, será” has no historical roots in any Romance language. In fact, it is grammatically incorrect, a mistranslation of Spanish or Italian, resulting in the word for word creation of the phrase “qué será, será.” It is literally a bastard expression in search of a linguistic parent. Just like Hitchcock in the jail cell.

Still, the tune sports an impressive pedigree. The phrase was first borrowed into English in 1559 from Spanish although the correct phrase would be “lo que será, será,” which is grammatically incorrect itself. The Italian-sounding version, “che sarà sarà,” can be traced back to a British aristocrat who used it as his heraldic motto in the 16th century. It also appears in Christopher Marlowe’s play “Doctor Faustus” (written around 1590, published in 1604) with the line “Che sera, sera / What will be, shall be,” using an archaic Italian spelling. During the early 17th century, the phrase was used in Charles Dickens’ novel “Hard Times,” first published in 1854. Despite its dark meaning, remarkably, the song received the 1956 Academy Award for Best Original Song.

However, Hitchcock’s portrayal hints at the existence of something or someone, perhaps a baldheaded director, who serves as a guide to help us navigate these pitfalls. This figure symbolizes the need to escape from places that embody unpredictability and misdirection in life and find our way into the right path, where the future can be shaped in a more promising manner. It comes as no surprise that his jail cell experience left a lasting impact on Hitchcock, igniting his interest in how people crumble under duress and revive through affection and love.

Throughout his illustrious directing career, which earned him 46 Academy Awards, he would consistently returned to the theme of uncertainty. We asked why and we didn’t stop until we found the answer.

Unraveling The Success Puzzle

We embarked on our ‘what will be’ journey driven by the curiosity of three-year-olds who tirelessly ask “why” and manage to surpass 400 inquiries per day, according to pediatricians, much to the delight or exhaustion of their parents. We established one ground rule: to follow the facts wherever they led us, regardless of the cherished beliefs we might have to challenge.

Our aim was to discover what makes people’s lives truly extraordinary.

Socrates, the renowned Greek philosopher who faced a trial for impiety, famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This theory resonates deeply in our complex and unpredictable modern world. When we encounter individuals who overcome formidable obstacles and adversaries, it becomes crucial to ask “why” and unearth their secrets. By doing so, the rest of us can find a path forward.

We looked for anomalies correlations disparities and coincidences. We tore away the shiny fabric on successful lives and peered beneath to see not only what made someone eminently successful but when and how. What we found astonished us, and we hope it inspires you. So much for the direct correlation between hard work and do it yourself success. It came down to an ecosystem that worked like the gears of a smooth running machine, that is, when it worked.

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.”

These words from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle captured the essence of our quest. As we began our research into extraordinary people and the way they became so, something very mysterious in the Hitchcockian sense happened. We could not be certain of what role luck played in the rise to great heights, and whether it could be attributed to upbringing or college or the workplace, in fact all of the above seemed to argue for their dominance. But something in the mix permitted them to surmount adversity time and time again.

Cinderella’s tale pales by comparison and still we had no verifiable clue to the question why do people of similar talent and background experience such disparities in outcome? Even siblings showed a greater gap in their lives than mere friends and strangers. The self-help industry churns out numerous books even thought they often fall short on delivering useful answers. As my former boss, Malcolm Forbes, used to say, “We make more money selling advice than giving it.”

“When I get home I shall write a book about this place.” –Lewis Carroll’s Alice

Why is effect of success so easy to see but the cause so hard to pinpoint? We took a counterintuitive approach by talking to eminently successful people so that we might learn from their perspective and in their words. What they told us was astonishing and rebuked the allure of success myths perpetuated by self-proclaimed experts like Brian Tracy. He believes success comes down to self-discipline. Success is getting up on time. Failure, we presume, is oversleeping.

For others, habits are the key thing. Take Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which emphasizes key principles that will lead to lasting success: taking responsibility, setting priorities, and focus on the goal. Still, we know a lot of people who do just that, but the notion that success can be solely achieved through adopting a set of habits is alluring but grossly oversimplifies the complexities of human experience.

There is nothing wrong with any of these suggestions, and the books have sold millions of copies, indicating they are hitting a nerve end in the public’s mind. But like sending someone untutored to Harvard, they may graduate with a degree but didn’t have the background to benefit from the education. The result is that soon we fall back into our old habits, and start to work on a new plan.

We thought there must be a better answer.

Malcolm Gladwell’s book Outliers presents an intriguing argument suggesting success occurs by chance, influenced by factors like birthdates and systemic advantages. He focuses on factors like birthdates of Canadian hockey players as the earlier one is born, the bigger he is, and the more likely to get good coaching and playing time. So far so good. But when we looked under the Gladwellian hood to see if some parts were missing.

Gladwell believes boys born in the first quarter of the year have an unfair advantage which results in greater chance of playing professional hockey. It gives them as much as an eleven-month headstart on the younger tykes who arrive at yearend.

Yet, in the case of actual hockey success, the Gladwellians born in Q1 (January through March), number 4 players, a list that includes Wayne Gretzky, end up in last place. The best quartiles to be in the second half of the year. Those born in July through September, number five, while the Q4 babies, a list that includes Mario Lemieux and six others, come to seven professionals of out the top 20. By the way, if you are convinced that astrology is the key to hockey, October is best month to be born if you hope to be a pro hockey player.

But that wasn’t the revelation.

The study we conducted challenges the ideas presented by Gladwell and the other success gurus. He believes it’s the forest and not the trees. It was neither, as we found.

Our take is that it’s the dirt and that is Canada. That is the real secret behind hockey, not birthdate or drive or parents willing to take their sons to the ice rink at 5 in the morning. Canada’s deep-rooted hockey culture provides a unique environment that fosters the development of exceptional players. While other factors play a role, what really counts is being in the right place — a place where hockey is life.

Our research showed us that success is never a single isolated factor but a complex interplay of forces, some within our control, others not, resting on a hallowed spot that either embraces you or makes life difficult. It stands to reason that all variables are intensified or limited by that place, including birthdate and upbringing, education, coaching, luck, and let’s not forget love. The planting of these elements in the right habitat is what determines outcomes and holds the key to unlocking a better future. The bottom line is that where you plant yourself matters most when it comes to a life played on the highest possible level. Or on the ice rink.

Sometimes, the places acted as bridges to greatness, propelling individuals toward extraordinary achievements. In other cases, these places required careful reconfiguration, like the meticulous construction of a house, to align with their aspirations. And there were those instances where places, although part of their past, held a lingering memory so potent that it ignited a relentless pursuit of the stars.

Our quest took us on a captivating journey across the globe, from Davos to Malta, from Trump Tower to the esteemed Augusta National Golf Club. We explored Sun Valley, the governor’s mansion in South Carolina, Soledad O’Brien’s Emmy-laden office, and the Berkshire Hathaway headquarters in Omaha. We even ventured into Michael Milken’s Santa Monica lair, where the great ships sail. Along the way, we faced moments of danger, such as our encounter with Mikhail Khodorkovsky, Putin’s arch-nemesis, in a clandestine hideaway accessible only through covert backstairs, evading potential Russian assassins.

Our quest involved questioning individuals about the environments that allowed exceptional individuals to thrive. Through extensive research and interviews, accompanied by our camera crew, we discovered that these environments were far more scarce than commonly believed. It became evident that success went beyond material wealth; it was nurtured by environment.

There were many examples to choose from, but we searched for a paradigm of our thesis, that the presence of place and the influence of business can be the greatest driver of success in people’s lives. One example we found was particularly appealing.

Delving deep into such extraordinary individuals’ lives helped us separate myth from reality as we sought to unravel the reasons behind the immense success. Drawing upon our experiences as the publisher of Forbes Magazine and a venture capitalist involved in Elon Musk’s early ventures, along with my wife’s extensive executive background in renowned organizations such as Ritz Carlton, Disney, and Zip Car, we embarked on a five-year journey.

During this time, we studied over fifty individuals, from Nobel Prize winners to Olympic medalists, Four Star Generals to TV news anchors, heads of state to Fortune 50 CEOs, who had achieved exceptional success and fulfillment. This endeavor led us to profound insights by observing patterns and similarities. It garnered us a prestigious Telly Award for our Youtube interview series, ultimately inspiring this book.

Throughout our exploration, deep truths emerged, but one was particularly resonant: extraordinary success is never a solitary achievement based on talent, IQ, or inherited traits. The good news is that everyone has a chance. The bad news is there is no easy way upward. Life played on the highest level is a collective endeavor, intricately woven with the influence of the places that have shaped and molded us and the variety of people we run into who act as coaches providing training and course correction. Yet, the significance of our environment, encompassing both the people and the culture, often needs to be noticed and uncredited because we tend to focus only on outcomes rather than inputs.

Throughout our five-year journey, we discovered that success is multi-dimensional, shaped by key principles, family, institutions, community, habits, and behaviors. While there is no definitive ranking or hierarchy among the dimensions, it became clear that some played a more significant role in transforming ordinary lives into extraordinary ones. We set out to understand why some individuals succeed while others do not. To do that, we had to delve into the data to understand what truly set these exceptional individuals apart.

The results surprised us, and we hope they will inspire you.

Indeed, our exploration revealed that places matter — perhaps the single most crucial factor in shaping the trajectory of our lives. They possess an unseen force that can mold destinies and ignite the spark of greatness within us. The power of places, as we discovered, cannot be underestimated. It is a hidden key that unlocks the doors to extraordinary success.

After 1500 hours of interviews and many more researching the backstories, we recognized the patterns of extraordinary lives by identifying the rules of success. First, we identified key principles. Then, we examined the impact of family, institutions, community, and the many habits and habitats that enabled their path.

Then, like the three-year-old reading Shakespeare, we wanted answers to a difficult question — why some and not others?

Zion Baptist Church — Pavo, Georgia

In the sultry embrace of a July morning in Pavo, Georgia, back in the bygone year of 1948, a tattered, worn-out blue Chevy pickup rumbled to a halt. The driver idled longer than usual to allow a thunderstorm to pass as he waited in front of a gray clapboard dwelling, its shutter boards barely clinging to their hinges. Yet a garden adorned with meticulously tended delicate white lilies stood as a testament to something else. “That’s what divorce does to a family,” his words dissipating like the tendrils of smoke from his lit cigarette.

Meanwhile, three young passengers next to him in the front seat knew nothing of the complexities of life were arguing incessantly over a shared stick of chewing gum. The driver had given it to them to keep them quiet or so he believed. It was another theory that didn’t work out. But children do not care for theory, only love and care and chewing gum. There small quarrel was a chorus of innocence and independence, training them for the world that will be theirs. But now there was a job and Reatha Belle wasn’t coming.

As a heavy morning summer thunderstorm pummeled the broken windshield, the driver could barely make out the glimmering eyes of a ten-year-old peering through the screen door. The spindly-legged pixie bounded onto the porch and into the front seat with the other girls, and the truck roared to life for the two-hour journey. The only sound was the steady serenade of yawns and giggles all the way to the farm.

He smiled and said, “Don’t you fret, Reatha Belle. Rain ain’t gonna cause you no harm.”

She replied, “Don’t worry none. The more it rains, the more I make because cotton gets heavy,” she said, looking out the window at the colorless field. “The farmer pays $15 a bale, which comes to 500 pounds, and I can pick 200 pounds of cotton in a day. So I make $6.”

She always did the math in her head.

Ak-Sar-Ben Race Track — Omaha, Nebraska

The 14-year-old licked the stamp on the envelope, wrote the address in Washington, D.C., and filed his first tax return. He deducted a bicycle and watch as business expenses for the seemingly endless series of money-making schemes from delivering The Washington Post, one of his three newspaper routes, to cleaning cars to selling errant golf balls. He admired poor golfers because they made money for him.

Xerox Parc — Palo Alto, California

Joanne was a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Wisconsin. She fell in love with Abdulfattah, her grad assistant. There were two problems. She became pregnant. He was Muslim. The couple flew to Syria to meet his parents. Then Joanne called her father, a mechanic from Sheboygan, to seek his approval to marry. “I will disown you,” he replied. The boy was given up for adoption.

Univ of Florida Student Science Training Program

Jackie became pregnant as a sophomore in high school. The boy’s father was a bike shop owner and unicyclist in a circus act. They married in Juarez. When the school authorities found out, she was expelled. Jackie was allowed to graduate on the condition that she would not talk or eat with other students. They named after her father, Jeffrey. Before the boy was two years old, the couple divorced.

Naval Postgraduate School — Monterey, California

They were identical twins. Their parents were local police officers. Mark’s father fit the tough-guy cop image. He described him as “hard-charging and hard-drinking.” By the time Mark was in his teens, he suffered a broken jaw, was hit by a car, shot in the face with a pellet gun, and had broken his knuckles in fistfights.

The State House — Columbia, South Carolina

They were Sikh immigrants from Punjab. The family emigrated to the United States and the father was offered a job at an all-black college. Nimrata’s mother opened a small dress shop, and although the oldest daughter was only 12, too young to work legally, she became the bookkeeper. She was pretty however, and when she entered a beauty contest she was disqualified because her skin color wasn’t black or white.

North Baltimore Aquatic Club

Michael’s parents got divorced when he was ten, and when his father left home, he felt abandoned. Carrying the same name may have led to feelings of estrangement, and by the sixth grade, he was afflicted with a severe form of Attention Deficit Disorder.

Pretoria — Cape Town, South Africa

Matrosskaya Tishina Prison — Moscow, Russia

Predicting the future has become increasingly challenging in the age of information overload. Former Google chairman Eric Schmidt highlights this when he states, “Every two days, we create as much information as we did from the dawn of civilization.” Visualizing the sheer magnitude of five exabytes of information, equivalent to all the words ever spoken, is mind-boggling.

As we contemplate the vast expanse of new information compared to the slower pace of earlier eras, it becomes evident that a significant gap in reality has emerged. Unable to keep up, many of us either give up or become distracted by social media, politics, or other toxic diversions. These false sources of control provide temporary relief. The resulting information overload in our lives leads to a failure in our pursuit of understanding.

Places exert an indelible effect on our psyche, shaping us in both subtle and significant ways. They also influence individuals, regardless of their stature. This is a story of how a place transformed someone when they were young and continued to exert its influence as they stepped onto the world stage.

This realization has spurred us to investigate the factors that contribute to extraordinary outcomes.

When considering success, it is crucial to establish a strong foundation that aligns with our goals and provides an environment conducive to growth. And if that environment does not yield the desired results, we can seek a new one and adapt accordingly.

“Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.” — Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

It was a sign, as they say, that the future has many possible endings and predictions are a waste of time. So imagine how much harder predicting the future is now when, as former Google chairman Eric Schmidt says, “Every two days we create as much information as we did from the dawn of civilization.” Without spelling out what five exabytes of information actually looks like it is the equivalent of all the words ever spoken. That includes Bill Clinton’s 1,000-page biography of which Jon Stewart said, “I have to confess, I did not finish the entire book; I’m on page 12,000.”

When you consider new information and contrast that with an earlier era’s slow-moving pace, it reveals the potential for an exponential gap in reality. We cannot keep up so we give up or we get distracted by social media, politics, or some other toxic diversion like protest marches to nowhere and deplatforming of companies or individuals. These are the things that erroneously make us feel in control once again. This factor of information overload in our lives more than anything else leads to lives of failure in the study.

Places have an indelible effect on our psyche, that is, they change us in ways big and small, and they change people, both the big and small kind. This is a story of how a place changed someone when they were small and continued to exert the same effect when they grew big enough to appear on the world stage.

A realization prompted us to investigate whether we could identify the things that contributed to extraordinary outcomes. We spend much of our lives believing that the good things that happen to us are self made, while the negative spaces are populated by goblins in the form of bad bosses, members of political parties we don’t like, and the IRS.

We wanted to find out if self reliance took too much credit for success and whether the places that birthed, educated, raised, and trained us might have something to do with it. Even the places that played with us.

It lead us down the path to look at the places that shape lives. Did Cronkite transform from battle-weary news correspondent to “the most trusted man in America” simply because his soul resided in Kansas City and his heart was later anchored in Martha’s Vineyard? It initially seemed preposterous, but as we delved deeper, it made sense.

Over the next five years, our dedicated team, consisting of myself and my co-producer and wife, Kristin, focused on unraveling the essence of lives characterized by exceptional fulfillment and happiness. We sought to isolate the factors that contributed to this phenomenon, striving to develop a working hypothesis of extraordinary success. Was there a single controlling idea that made all the difference? In our pursuit, we stumbled upon a realization that often evades esteemed thinkers and writers who study the art of success.

Our quest revolved around questioning people about their origins rather than merely observing the effects. You’re not successful because you’re rich. You’re rich because you’re successful. Through extensive research and interviews, with our camera crew in tow, we discovered that the key lay in the environments where exceptional individuals were allowed to thrive, something that is far rarer than people believe. Also, we found it isn’t the purview of the elite or the wealthy.

Conversely, our extraordinary subjects manage the information flows that impel and inspire them to better their circumstance. It is also called focus. They were born in dire straits in which the future was uncertain if not set against them. But as soon as they were able they were planning for a different outcome. Once they realized that finding the right path to the future was a self-imposed mission, it took them far away from home and loved ones in many cases, and the road was never easy, but they scoured the landscape for important clues as to which step to take. They found enemies along the way and found equally amazing talents to oppose them. They innovated. They bobbed and weaved like an offensive lineman. They carried the ball over the line. It reminded us of General Eisenhower’s famous expression, “Plans are a waste. Planning is everything.”

The point is our interest and concerns for the future haven’t changed much but the inputs have increased dramatically. We spend hours consuming news that doesn’t make us feel more informed, in fact, the more we consume the more misinformed we become. The result is confusion about who we are including our gender, race, and personality type, and of course, where we are going. What we learned was that extraordinary people are always revising, modifying the plan, and surmounting adversities, and often, ignoring the news. It is why everyone around them is so surprised by their success. They didn’t know how they were going to do it but they knew they would find a way.

We felt an obligation to do this for all lives.

The Power of Place

However, when we began investigating the whys and wherefores of success in life and career, the people we studied challenged the premise that happy families do not exhibit diversity. We started with Cronkite for several reasons. Most importantly, his remarkable journey defied the notion that happiness can only be found by conforming to a specific set of conditions. Later on, as we discovered many similar stories, we found he was not an anomaly.

During our in-depth personal conversations with a group of exceptional individuals, the truth became clear: extraordinary success is not merely the outcome of micro factors like inherited wealth, genetic advantages, or innate talent, as many tend to believe. Instead, success is nurtured and motivated by the influences that shape remarkable individuals at various stages of their lives. In our exploration, we shifted our attention to the broader macro causes, with a particular focus on the remarkable influence of place. It became evident that the impact of one’s surroundings cannot be overstated in the pursuit of greatness.

Remove the influence of their habitat from the equation, and the achievements unravel. Consider the impact of Walter Cronkite’s upbringing in Kansas City. Pluck him from that sacred spot, he may never have found the courage to challenge President Johnson about the Vietnam War. Imagine a world where news anchors today are mere blow-dried puppets, yielding to the whims of politicians, devoid of Cronkite’s emotionally charged words that captivated a nation in the aftermath of JFK’s assassination. He was brought up in the grayscale of the rural and impoverished southwest, neither a Democrat nor Republican but wearing only a red heart on his sleeve and a truth barometer in his brain. His audience loved him for it.

The Findings

Here is a description of our interview subjects.

1. Many were born in poverty, children of divorce, and/or abandoned by parents or given up for adoption.
2. Many were immigrants and/or people of color.
3. They were ordinary children in terms of aptitude. There were no child prodigies or people who exhibited ‘genius.’
4. Most of our subjects reached success well into middle-age.
5. A large portion became billionaires.
6. Three are among the five wealthiest people in the world.

Outcomes

Choose from the list below the most likely outcome for each of the above children. There aren’t any placebos here. Every title is attributed to one of our subjects.

1. Nobel Prize Winner
2. Four-Star General
3. University President
4. Chief Executive Officer
5. Ambassador
6. Philanthropist
7. Billionaire
8. TV News Anchor
9. Senator
10. Astronaut
11. Tech Guru
12. Investment Banker
13. Russian Oligarch
14. Entertainment Executive
15. Olympic champion

Beginning, Middle, and End

“Films should have a beginning, middle, and an end, but not necessarily in that order,” French film director Jean-Luc Godard wrote. He borrowed a classical theme based on Aristotle, “A whole is that which has a beginning, middle, and end. The beginning supposes nothing before itself and requires something after it: the middle supposes something that went before and requires something to follow, the end requires nothing after, but supposes something before.”

A study conducted by the NCBI in 2015 made it clear that the beginning is the most critical determinant of the middle and the ending: “the accident of birth is a principal source of inequality in America today.”

It is true that childhood trauma bodes for an inferior way of life, perhaps even tragic according to an NCBI study from 2015. It said, “The accident of birth is a principal source of inequality in children in America today.”

The study examined 424 children, nearly half African American, from Chicago’s poorest neighborhoods between 1997 and 2002 to see what happens to lives caught up in poverty and dysfunction. These problems, which can last throughout life, much like a prison sentence, were traceable back to family dysfunction.

When we examined our subjects, although they suffered in childhood and endured harsh conditions, none had severe family dysfunction (abuse, alcoholism, drugs, or abandonment). These factors seem to have a greater negative effect than the death of a parent, many of whom our subjects suffered.

The stories you are about to read make sense when you realize these are only beginnings. Their success was not a result of chance or luck. Nor was it solely attributable to talent and determination, although there was plenty of that to go around. It is a product of deliberate cultivation and inspiration, influenced by people, experiences, and environments that shape exceptional individuals in particular locations and habitats.

In this regard, the places they reside possess an extraordinary power that cannot be underestimated. In hindsight, many will say they were in the right place at the right time, but we can demonstrate that the thing that made the biggest difference was the place.

That became the thesis of our story.